It’s been difficult to find time for anything lately. Almost a month ago, I returned to work after my maternity leave. I work over an hour away from home, so it usually means that I am out of the house 11 hours a day. I usually see my son an hour in the morning, as I get ready for work, and an hour to two hours in the evening before he goes to sleep. After he goes to bed, I spend another hour or more cleaning up and taking care of various things, like load the dishwasher, making formula for the night, etc. Then it’s to bed for a few hours of sleep before the cycle starts again.

I don’t proclaim to the busiest person out there, but it is a struggle to adjust to my new life. It is hard to get used to the fact that I don’t have “me time” anymore. Blogging has certainly suffered from not having any time to myself. The only “me time” I have is during my lunch break at work.  I have considered blogging during my break at work, but then there is that whole “using company property for personal use” issue.

Of course, I surf the web at work, so I guess I’m not that worried about it.  I think I’ll begin using that lunch time for blogging and journaling.  I need to reclaim some time for myself, not as a wife or a mother, just me.

So glad it’s over.

Christmas cards were mailed out Christmas Eve. (Hey - it’s postmarked before Christmas Day, so bite me)

Tree made it up before Christmas Eve dinner. The ornaments - not so much. I count four ornaments on a seven foot tree. Yup - four whole ornaments. Sad things is, no one noticed until Husband pointed it out to the rest of the family. WTG Hubby - we could have gotten away with it if he hadn’t pointed it out. I swear, I think I’m the brains of the outfit.

Husband and I cooked Christmas Eve dinner for the family this year. Thankfully, it’s a small group, six adults, including us.  No kids table, since Soul Boy is still to young for that. At eleven weeks, does he even qualify for “kid”? Is he more of a “kid-let”?

But WTF was I thinking of when I said Husband and I would cook the entire dinner? Someone must have hit me with the Stupid Stick and I forgot that I’m now Mom to an eleven week old. Soul Boy may be Super Smart (yes he is - shut up) but he certainly can’t feed himself or change his diapers yet. Ah we were a beautiful sight to see -  food burning, baby crying, Husband whining, and me - just about ready to scream.

We were able to salvage dinner and put out a decent spread so no one was the wiser. But my god, my brother better step up to the plate more. He and my SIL just show up with a small appetizer or a dessert every year, while I spend hours cooking (Husband and I have taken over most of the cooking to take the pressure off my elderly parents). They never offer to have dinner at their place, because dinner at their place is reserved for HER family and friends, donchaknow.

I swear - if I’m the only one cooking next year - I’m just gonna get one of those turkey dinners from the grocery store  and thrown it on the table.

If they’re lucky, I’ll take it out of the plastic wrap first.

you know… other than taking care of a baby…

I ordered our obligatory photo Christmas card today. Yup, ordered them four whole days before Christmas. I still have to pick them up at Costco later today, buy envelopes to put them in, and do the whole address/stamp thing. Hopefully I can get them in the mail by Saturday at the latest so there will be soem hope that the people that live nearby will receive them before Christmas.  The ones that live outside the area - oh well, I tried. If I left to hubby, people would be getting this year’s Christmas card sometime next June.

As a new parent, you learn new things everyday. The latest lesson is about Christmas cards. I was ready to pull out the box of generic Christmas cards and send them off, which would have been a mistake. Apparently, once you have a kid, people expect you to send photo holiday cards so they can see your kids. You know, they really should add that to the Parenting Handbook. Oh, and send me a copy while you’re at it.  Husband swears that I have a magical book with all the answers to parenting issues and I don’t remember gettting one in the hospital.  kthx.

I have not bought one damn Christmas present yet? I don’t have the biggest gift list in the world, but I don’t think I can give everyone acard with $40 in it and say “Merry Christmas!” Even with a nine week old baby, I have to put some kind of effort into it.  But the thought of going to the mall… ugh. Gah, I hate people, especially Christmas shoppers. They just get in the way of my highly efficient shopping process. Can I rip my hair out instead?

I could shop online. I did that last year and looooved it. Becuase I hate people, y’know? With shopping online, the only people I have to deal with is my husband and the occassional UPS man. Heaven. Even if the UPS was never the cute guy in the tight shorts that they show on the commercial. Can I sue UPS for false advertising?

Only problem this tear is that all our money was used to buy the necessary things for the baby. And now I am off the company payroll and strictly on state disability for the next six weeks. And guess who’s check is late? So we currently have no funds for Christmas (yeah - should have budgeted it earlier - bite me) and time is running out for online shopping. You kno, that whole shipping time just screws me up. Can’t they just fast-track my packages? Gah.

Man, if I end up having to go to the mall…

I’ll be rolled up into the fetal position on the floor of my bedroom closet. kthxbi.

I got a call from my new boss today to verify the day I will be returning to work. Because I am moving into a new group when I return to work, we discussed my new duties. Everything seems cool, but I forgot to discuss some a couple of details, like which office I will be occupying.

I am so torn. On the one hand I don’t want to go back to work. I want to stay home with my som and witness every moment of his development. On the other hand, I can’t wait to get back to work because I truly love what I do, even though I may not like the company or my boss.

I just have to keep reminding myself that not working is not an option for me. Our health insurance is provided through my work. Husband is an independent contractor in an industry experiencing a downturn, so I am the source of most of our income. The upside to the situation is that my mother will be providing daycare for us, so I have no worries at all about leaving my baby with her. She is the most generous mother ever and my son already adores her.

But it’s still going to suck when my son takes his first step and I’m not there to see it.

Husband and I have struggled wih our bouncing baby boy. OK - let’s be realistic - I’ve struggled. Husband not so much, in case you didn’t get the hint from my last post. For six weeks it has been a story of frequent crying. And when I mean crying, I mean that loud hard cry, where Soul Boy’s body gets as stiff as a board and he turns purple while he cries. I talked to the doctor (at three weeks) and the advice nurse (at five and six weeks) and they all concluded it was gas, gave me some suggestions (changing fomula, etc.), and stated it would go away on its own. After six weeks I was at the end of my rope. I was ready to disappear and leave the baby to Husband - let him handle things for once.

After dealing with the extreme crying over the Thankgiving holiday, I made another desperate call to the pediatrician. My doctor’s ofice was closed so I was forwarded to their AfterHours advice line. I answered a slew of questions and the nurse promptly stated that she would get me in to see another doctor at the same practice today.

A couple of minutes later she called me back to say se had called the docotr at the practice’s other location and explained to the staff that they had to get me in today. I just had to call and get an appointment time. I quickly called, scheduled the appointment, and Husband and I made out way to the doctor with our little bundle of pained crying.

We had a long wait (which i will discuss in another post), talked to the doctor about we had been going through for six weeks, she examined him and, thank goodness, we had a possible diagnosis.

Acid Reflux. Apparently it is something fairly common in babies as their digestive systems may not be fully developed.

Couldn’t someone have figures this out a few weeks ago????

The baby is on a new formula and medication and will be evaluated from time to time to see if he can stop either or both.
Oh my god, it is like a freakin’ different baby.  Yeah, he’s still fussy, but it is like night and day. I actually have a baby that smiles and seems happy most of the time. And I’m getting a bit more sleep. And I don’t feel like a complete failure as a new mom.

Once again - someone couldn’t have thought this was a possibility a few weeks ago?

My current pediatrician is pretty popular and well-known in the area for being a good doctor, so I’m not going to jump ship over this. Up to this point, I have been very impressed with my current pediatrician.  He was on vacation the last three weeks, so he didn’t really get a chance to follow up like he thought he would.  But I will be watching him.

That baby crying his lungs out in his crib - he’s your baby too.  They crying won’t stop just becuase you choose to ignore it.  They baby cannot wait to be fed until after your football game is over. It would be nice if you spent some time taking care ofyour baby and give the poor mother a break.

Women don’t possess a natural instinct to decipher what a baby needs. That is just some excuse that a guy used to get out of taking care of his child. Also, babies do not come with instruction manuals that only women can read. There is no Giant Ovarian Conspiracy that is working against men so that they are unable to take care of their children. It’s all a big guessing game. Just do what any mother would do - just try something and see if it works!

Oh and if you throw “you wanted this baby” in the mother’s face one more time when she asks you for help - be prepared to get a skillet upside the head.

For those of you that hought I had died, I am very much alive. The pregnancy was a little complicated. I felt fine but was considered high-risk, so it involved a lot of testing and appointments with various specialists. Add that to working full-time until the very day I went in to the hospital for induction, well, blogging had to fall to the side.

I am happy to annouce that Husband and I are the very proud parents of a healthy baby boy. He is six weeks old and I think we are getting over the tough initial weeks where babies and parents are adjusting to each other and their new lives.

So now it is time to start blogging again. I can’t promise you I won’t bore you with stories about my kid. But I can say I won’t bore you with pictures. How can I anonomously piss and moan about my boss in one post and then show off pictures of my son in another post? My boss can be an idiot, but even he can figure out my “secret identitiy” if the picture on the blog matches the picture on my desk.

I’m still alive and kicking. Work has been a complete beast and adding a one hour commute each way while being pregnant has been sheer joy (note extreme sarcastic tone).

Since my OB has recommended thta I cut back on my extremely long work hours, I should have more time to dedicate to the old blog again. So stay tuned as I start gifting you with stories about work and being pregnant for the first time at my “advanced age” (god how I hate that term - which is used for any woman that plans to get pregnant past the ancient age of 35).

Thanks to all of you that continue to stop by and check on me!

So I had another employee give notice today. I got a whole whoppin’ four days notice. I know she’s a temp, but damn! What happened to the two week courtesy notice? And of course next week is the week I absolutely need a full staff. I ask her to give me just one more week and she gives me a damn bullshit answer. What happened to courtesy and responsibility in the work place?

I was so pissed I couldn’t look at her for the rest of the day. I spent the better part of the morning on the phone with the temp agency to get a replacement ASAP. Luckily they came through with someone that can start tomorrow morning.

The departing temp better not think she is gonna get the usual goodbye lunch. Not from me dammit.

On a happier note I am in Week 10 of Baby Growing. He’s finally letting me eat a little bit more. I lost four pounds over the last nine weeks, so I’m hoping to gain some of that back.  Although he’s still picky about what I eat. He definitely did not like the falafel I ate yesterday for lunch. My stomach was churning all day. But he loves ice cream anytime of the day. He takes after Mommmy!

I have my first regular OB appointment on Thursday (I’ve been seeing the specialist up to this point), so I’ll have to get my questions ready for her.

Stay tuned for more baby news.

I better not have anymore horrible work stories, the stress is killing me.

Things have been hectic in my life lately. The following has happened since the last time I posted:

1. I received a promotion at work. My two person staff has grown to twelve employees.
2. The increased staff has really affected my ability to do my own job. I’m fielding questions all freakin’ day.
3. I’m still try to figure out how to get eight hours of work completed in two hours so I don’t have to work at home.
4. I’m failing miserably at #3, which means I’m working a lot of nights. Thank goodness for laptops.
5. The company is going through a major transition as we consolidate various areas.
6. The company is changing financial systems, which involves changing a lot of processes.
7. The company is changing locations, moving to a building over 30 minutes away.
8. Numbers 5, 6, and 7 are all happening at the same time - the Perfect Storm aka Financial Hell.
9. All of the above are giving me tons more gray hair than I should have at my age.
10. Throw in a couple of business trips in there and I’m just a little stretched. Just call me Stretchy.

On top of all the work fun listed above..

I’m Pregnant!

Yes, I am at nine weeks pregnant at this time. Husband and I are thrilled and scared all at the same time. But mostly we are relieved. No matter what happens from here on out, at least we know that it is possible for us to get pregnant. After six years of trying, that is a huge relief.

When a woman gets an IUI, they are told to wait two full weeks before doing a pregnancy test. I made it through the first week of the two-week post-IUI waiting period without a problem. I started to get some slight nausea, so I tested today, even though I am not supposed to test until Saturday.

I figured since I was nauseous and my period was one day late, I figured I would give it a try.

Big Fat Negative.

I did have some minor nausea the last time I had an IUI and my period was late. It could be a repeat of last time.

Waiting until Saturday is killing me.

No sure what happened, but I guess Husband got over it. After a couple days of minimal speaking, he wakes up this morning like a little ball of sunshine, the Husband I’m used to having around me.

Thank god because I would have to throw a pillow or something at him so he could snap out of it.

You call me with a decision you want me to OK, a decision that would impact our financial future.

You call me at work, when I have to deal with people coming in and out of my office.

You want me to OK your decision immediately.

You get upset because I don't.

You say I don't support you because I tell you I want to talk about our options at home and not say OK right now.

You say I always say no.

You say "forget it" like a beaten man when I try to explain that I just want to talk out a backup plan. 

You don't want to hear what I have to say. 

You hurt me.

I love you with all my heart.

But I don't like how you make me feel right now. 

Well today was the day for Insemination #2.

Because it was a Saturday, one of the other doctors at the Fertility Center did it. It was fine with me because I like Dr. N a lot. He is very gentle and explains everything thoroughly. If I wasn’t already happy with Dr. B, I would love to have Dr. N as my doctor.

He told me that Hsband and I couldn’t possibly do anything different to increase our chances. I had the two follicles and Husband had seven times the minimum amount of sprem needed, so we’re good on that end.

Now it’s just a matter of waiting to see if Husband’s boyz get together with my girlz.  We’ll know in two weeks.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

(Not literally of course…)

My boss quit today.

The same man that I have had several screaming matches.

The same man that questioned my work ethic just because I prioritized my critical projects before doing some low-level research (that could be done another day or by someone else) for him.

The same man that spent a good chunk of his day being negative about work. (How is that motivating for your employees?)

I almost jumped for joy.

I’ve avoided poilitcal issues since the last election, not because I am not interested, but because I cannot stand the complete lack of comprehension and respect in political discussion these days.I have mentioned in the past that I am a Democrat and Hisband is a Republican. We are both rather moderate in our views, so we agree on a lot of things, although we may not agree on the path to take to reach the specific goal.

A couple months ago I introduced Husband to the world of blogs.

Yeah - my mistake.

Ever since then, I hear Husband spouting the rhetoric I’ve seen on the conservative blogs. I’ve told him how he’s so much more intolerant now and he thinks it’s a joke. He says he’s just spewing against the radical left in the Democratic Party (of which I cannot say I am a fan either). He doesn’t get that the word “Democrat” applies to me as well.

Great - so the thing I avoided is now in my own home. Yay me.

Danalyn helped me out and fixed my beloved WP template. Now I feel like myself again!

My host was an unfortunate victim of a DNS attack. The IP was hijacked for a while too, but they were able to get things fixed relatively quickly. I did lose a few posts and several comments in the process, but it could have been much worse. I’ll be re-creating the missing posts over the next day or so.

Me and like 10 million other people.

Of course I’m talking about the iPhone.

It seems to have everything I want - music, video, phone. Instead of carrying both a phone and an iPod, I can carry just one device.

That’s of course if it works the way it should. It won’t be available until June 2007, so who knows what kind of bugs linger under the surface.

I won’t be able to afford one until probably June 2008 though, so I don’t think I need to worry about that.